ASEXUALITY
brought to you by your local asexuals @aurvmx and @pergliamicialaska on instagram
asexuality
what is it?
asexuality is a sexual orientation which describes people who experience little to no sexual attraction. the term 'asexual' is often shortened to 'ace'.
the opposite term, used to describe people who are not on the ace spectrum, is 'allosexual'.
this is the ace flag:
but what is sexual attraction?
sexual attraction is attraction on the basis of sexual desire. it's about finding a specific person sexually appealing and it makes people desire sexual contact with someone specific.
what makes an individual asexual is the lack or rare presence of this feeling.
aromanticism
what is it?
the term aromantic describes someone who feels little to no romantic attraction.
aromantic people may or may not feel sexual attraction; aromanticism and asexuality are two separate things that exist apart from each other.
like asexuality, aromanticism exists on a spectrum; people who do experience romantic attraction are called 'alloromantic'.
the term 'aromantic' is often shortened to 'aro'.
this is the aro flag:
sexual attraction vs sexual desire
can ace people want sex?
the short answer is yes, but we might want to dive more into that.
there is a difference between sexual attraction and sexual desire: while the former involves finding someone sexually appealing, sexual desire refers to the desire to have sexual contact, whether it is for pleasure, for conception or any other reason that is not attraction.
so yes, asexual people are able to want sex, but what drives this desire is not sexual attraction.
sex repulsed,averse,indifferent,positive and ambivalent
the asexual community uses these terms to describe a person's relationship with sexual acts.
sex-repulsed describes someone who finds all sexual acts undesirable, unwanted or repulsing, both regarding themselves or sex in general.
sex averse describes someone who finds the idea of themselves engaging in sexual acts undesirable but is still okay with the idea of sex in general and doesn't mind talking, discussing or joking about it.
sex-indifferent describes someone who doesn't feel repulsed by sex, but isn't positive about it either.
sex-favourable or sex-positive describes someone who enjoys sexual acts but still feels no sexual attraction.
sex-ambivalent describes someone who has mixed feelings towards sex, for example their feelings might change frequently or they might be okay with some acts but not others.
the ace spectrum
the asexual spectrum is very broad and contains a lot of people with experiences that are all different.
people on the spectrum can choose to simply identify as asexual, or can use other labels if they feel like they describe their identity better.
side note: all of these labels can be used on their own or with other labels to describe the kind of attraction that can be felt, for example one can use both demisexual and heterosexual to say they feel attraction to the opposite gender only once a bond is formed.
other side note: in this carrd we talk about the asexual spectrum and only refer to sexual attraction, although all of these labels can be used to refer to romantic attraction by simply replacing the suffix -sexual with
-romantic.
note: for more information, click on the flags!
DEMISEXUAL
someone who doesn't feel sexual attraction until they feel a deep emotional connection.
it's important to distinguish between abstaining from sex until you get to know someone and being demisexual: people that are demi don't feel attraction until a bond is formed, but allosexual people can feel attraction towards strangers but decide to not act on it.
the 'opposite' of demisexual is fraysexual.
FRAYSEXUAL
someone who only feels attraction to people they don't know well, and once a bond is formed, the attraction fades away. it's the 'opposite' of demisexual.
GRAYSEXUAL
someone who isn't allosexual, but doesn't feel like asexual describes their sexuality in the right way. greysexual people may feel attraction but only weakly or infrequently, or under specific circumstances, or have a different experience that doesn't make them feel connected to the asexual label.
ACEFLUX
someone whose attraction fluctuates in intensity.
it can be confused with abrosexual, but the latter is mostly used by people whose attraction fluctuates between genders.
some aceflux people may feel asexual at times and other identities on the spectrum at other times, some people may also feel allosexual.
CUPIOSEXUAL
someone who does not experience sexual attraction but still desires a sexual relationship. cupiosexual people are usually sex-favorable but they do not have to be. the label may be used by, for example, an asexual person who still wants a sexual relationship, or a fraysexual person who dates someone after they lose their sexual attraction.
LITHSEXUAL
someone who may feel sexual attraction, but not want it to be reciprocated. a lithsexual person may feel uncomfortable at the thought of someone being sexually attracted to them, or they may lose their sexual feelings if they learn they're reciprocated.
reminders
-sexuality is fluid, and in the future you might feel a different way
-labels are confusing and it's okay if you are struggling to find one or if you don't want to use one
-trying out labels is okay, and using one but then finding another that fits better is okay too, don't be afraid to find out what works better
-the asexual community loves and accepts you for who you are, regardless if you're part of it or not
-lastly, you're not broken and there's nothing wrong with you if you're asexual, you're valid no matter what